In the Remembrance Book

I was given the assignment to compose one paragraph and one picture for a book the memories commitee will leave at the center as a memento of we, the 81 students here this semester. Each of us are doing this, and each of our pages will be bound together. This is is what I submitted.

I will never forget the sensations, sights, sounds, and tastes of this land. The smell of fresh meat hanging in the Old City, the acoustics in Augusta Victoria as we sang hymns, the coral sunsets, the eyes of children when they’d say, “five shekel,” the chill of the forum during classes, my first taste of a Coconut Nok-out ice cream bar—each of these is a memory etched into my mind. But when I think of my time here my thoughts will turn first to the faces of friends. I have been altered more by their examples of dedication, spirit, and selflessness than by mosaics, stone, and holy sites. Months before coming here I obsessively studied all I could about the Jerusalem Center. I asked questions. I researched. I feverishly read all information packets available. I did as much as I could. And then I came—but I could never have been prepared for the people I likely wouldn’t have met in Provo, even if I had sat next to them. So to them I say thank you for making this time memorable. Thank you for being my friend.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is my favorite day of celebration in all the year-- the day Americans call, "THANKSGIVING." Greg asked me why it is my favorite. The first thing that came to mind was that I have no bad memories of a Thanksgiving...not one. But I dismissed that thought with a rue smile. That's not why I like it at all. And it isn't about the food either (although I would pay a great many shekels to taste my mother's stuffing today, I can tell you...and the cranberry sauce...and the her second-to-none pumpkin pie with extra spices and molasses, with thick whipped cream on the top...mmmm.)

What makes Thanksgiving the best holiday of the year? It may be the reflection of our blessings. It may be the gratitude we feel for the ones who came before us; a profound gratitude felt deep in the soul for their sacrifices so that we might live as we now do. It may be the joy that we feel in being together, rejoicing in the knowldege that our family feels the same, that we are united by our love and belief and gratitude.

Ah! And that is it. I realized that I had been saying "it may be because WE, or OUR." I used the group tense. And why? Because Thanksgiving, more than other holidays, is about family. Yes, Christmas is about family. Yes, on Independence Day we celebrate the immense gratitude we feel for our family and our country--but it is not quite the same. Thanksgiving is informal in my home, and formal all the same. but it is relaxing! (I can see my mother saying in her head right now that I think it's relaxing because I never had to do it all by myself.) But it is relaxing! Thanksgiving is peaceful. There is no tension, there is no feeling of having to get stuff done, it is first a time to say Thanks and Praise be to the Lord. Thanks for the health and condition of our family, thanks for the blessed and bountiful land of promise in which we live, and thanks for the knowledge of these things and the truths that bind us as a family.

These things being said, it is on to the traditional Mildenstein family thanksgiving in which I must participate, even from the opposite side of the earth. There are two things that must be done on Thanksgiving Day in my home: 1) my father must make a speech involving the Revolutionary War, America, and Abraham Lincoln--especially involving Lincoln. (My brother Matt and I usually refer to it as the Abraham Lincoln speech, and even when my dad swears it wont be the topic of his remarks it somehow always is.)and 2) Three candy-corns adorn each table setting, and each of us shares the three things we are most grateful for this year.

First--my own Lincoln speech!Actually, it's his own words taken from his "Proclamation of Thanksgiving," issued October 3, 1863. If you'll notice the date, he ordered a national day of thanksgiving in the middle of the blackness of the Civil War. Even in that dark time, he lists many things that they had to be thankful for. Read the speech, you can find it on google rather easily. I brought a copy of it to Thanksgiving dinner here at the center and passed it around. One phrase particularly caught my eye. He said, "I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the Untited states, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to observe...a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficient Father who dwelleth in the Heavens." I was so happy to realize that he'd included all American citizens, even if they're somewhere else at the time. That means me too! Huzzah! And now...

MY THREE CORNS:

1. I am grateful for my heritage. Grateful for my ancestry and my family line, grateful to be an inheritor of the privileges and honors of that family, and most especially--deeply grateful that I have had the honor of being the daughter of my parents, Keith and Deborah.

2. I am grateful for the restoration of the fullness of the everlasting gospel. To have the power and the work, the glory and the truth upon the earth once more is unfathomable. And that I am a part of it! This is surely a blessing above any and all else; for I know that there is none other way mankind can be saved but through Jesus Christ, Messiah, the Son of God, and I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is his true and living gospel. The Lord Jesus Christ lives! He stands at the head of this church and has from the beginning of time. He directs it. and it is through his power and authority that all things are and will be. I know it! And I am certain of the truth of it, for the holy spirit has made witness to my heart. The restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ to the world has done more for my family and myself than I can ever know, and I am thankful for that on this day.

3. Finally, I am grateful for the Book of Mormon. Through my study in the Old and New testaments and their histories and factions of late I have come to truly appreciate what a gem the Book of Mormon is. It is simple. It is clear. It is prophetic, it is profound. I believe that man can grow closer to Jesus Christ by reading and understanding and applying its principles than by the words of any other book. I have a strong testimony that it was revealed and translated by and through the power of God, and that his servants have brought it to light once more. I am certain that it is a witness of the divinity and power of Jesus Christ--tailored to the needs of people today,now; and that it was recorded for the peoples of today's world to understand. It is pure. It is precious. It is holy. And it is the most incredible record of an ancient people that I have ever heard of. (And by coincidence it is freely available for anyone to read: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/bm/contents )

And so, on this festive occasion, it is my joy to wish you the very happiest of Thanksgivings. May your gratitude outshine the deliciousness of the food you'll eat, and may any shopping you may do on the morrow be limited (or in the least, inexpensive. You'll thank me for it later.)

Laila Tov! (Goodnight!)

--R

Bright Copper Kettles and Warm Woolen Mittens

Sunday, November 18th

I just finished the "Palestinian Perspective" Final. Death by essay questions, anyone? Who among you can tell me in 1200 words the geographical details of the West Bank/ Gaza Strip? You must include details of: climate, population across the last 4 decades, refugee camp population, location, and their origin, water resources, and oh yeah--the entire political history of the palestinian people and the neighboring arab/islamic states. don't forget that Turkey and Iran don't count as Arab states but that you still have to know about the political relations between them. Also don't forget who controlled the sinai peninsula during which year, how the golan heights became annexed from Syria, and whatever you do, remember how the British Mandate finally fell apart. Define the terms "closure," "PLC," and briefly explain the terms of the Clinton administration's mediation between Israeli's and Palestinians. Oh, and while you're at it, name two arab countries that overlook the indian ocean, five Arab states (and their capitals) in Africa, as well as five major deserts in the middle east. Name the mountain ranges found in Iran and Turkey. What influence did the "White Paper" have in Palestine? And can you tell me what changes were made to the Sykes Pecot agreement following WWI? Bonus: 1919 was known as the "year of optimism." Explain.

Oh yeah, and I have another final tomorrow that's even worse: Jewish History. Whee. So I'm not much in the mood to describe anything else. Here's something fun...or at least fun for me. It's a list of some of my favorite things from 2007.

Full Moon Ski-Lift Ride at Sundance Resort
The Pyramids
"Stardust" and "the Robe"...great movies.
"Moonlight" and "Twilight"...books and a TV show
Talks with Aaron and Diana this Feb/Mar
Blackberry Pie
Getting to the Jerusalem Center the first night
Watching Shooting stars over the sea of Galilee
Voice lessons from Kerilyn Johnson. (I MISS THOSE!)
Grocery shopping with my Mama
Augusta Victoria Church in Jerusalem
The telescope my mom found second-hand
Ken Burns' forum on BYU campus
Hanging with Matt and Heather
Good new soundtracks (the mission and tuck everlasting)
Walks in the snow at night
Spending my Birthday in SLC
My new friends at the Jerusalem Center
Wanda, my new puppy. "Mine" is a loose term...
Stargate SG-1 parties with my niece Aubria
New love for the restoration of the gospel
Spending a week in the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan
My Hebrew class
Visiting a Synagogue on Shabbat
Miraculously earning as much money as I did. Phew!
The whole day field trip I spent in Bethlehem
Medium cheddar cheese and wheat thins. Yum!
My first trans-Atlantic flight
Watching a sunrise from the top of Mt. Sinai
Practicing a Lithuanian Folk Dance Winter semester
Juggling 3 jobs, classes full-time, and a performance team
Israeli chocolate bars with pop rocks inside
Driving the tiny red convertible all summer
Watching Horatio Hornblower & Patton with my Daddy

Heh--I love reminiscing too. Can you tell? But now its time for dinner, and I am off to eating--the most festive part of the day. Mmmmm. I hope there's mashed potatoes.

Shalom! --R

Funny. And not as in ha-ha.

Funny. When I first looked in the mirror today I noticed that my bottom eye-lid was red. Not puffy either--just red. Four girls at the center asked me if I put eye shadow under my eye today. Um, no. Why would I do that? I ask you. Maybe because it matches my recently extra pallor-ful countenance? Sheesh. So despite the fact that I had a fever when I went to bed and got no sleep last night, and despite the fact that I woke up shivering and shaking...but still with a fever (despite the two wool blankets on my bed,) and despite the fact that I have to move slowly and am weaker than a canary living in the coal mines, my cough is nearly gone! Yaaaaay! (And despite the fact that I missed my two classes this morning, I aced my Hebrew final this afternoon.) Huh. (Sadly to say, that isn't anything special. It was cinchy.) But hardly any coughing! And nearly no congestion! Yeah! I'm winning this thing, baby. Whoo!

Funny. Two of the guys I've previously dated are now engaged. And two of my friends from high school are now too. One party from the first part is actually engaged to a party of the second part. Go figure. That's great for them, yes? Yes. Wow.

Funny. I've dropped my World Dance minor, but I'm still scheduled for 4 dance classes Winter semester. Does this make sense? Well, if you know me I guess it does. The "rules" of schooling and which classes are for whom have always been off policy for me. By that I mean that I take pride in coloring outside those lines. Ah well. So far I'm registered for:
Readings in Ancient Near Eastern Texts, to 330 BC
Writings of Isaiah
Pearl of Great Price
Historian's Craft
Economy 110
Folk Dance Team
Hungarian Dance
Social Dance
...and tap. (if I can still squeeze it in.)
Trust me, I'm expecting something on this list to give. My schedule seems to fluctuate no matter what I do to make it stick.

No fair, I just found out President Monson is speaking at the BYU devotional tomorrow and I'm not going to be able to see it. Until it's online, anyway. I really was looking forward to seeing him in person again. Funny--that's the third apostle to speak at BYU fall semester. That's higher than the average. Wonder why that is.

Funny how no matter where I go I seem to face the same trials and challenges. This either a) means I'm not listening or paying attention to the things I should have learned, or b) verifies my theory that no matter what situation you're in and no matter where you are and what you're exposed to God will arrange the situation so that you learn exactly what he wants you to learn at that point in time. That's been my experience anyway. It could just be me then.

Funny. I've grown increasingly sure of myself and familiar with who I am and what I am prone to do. I know so much about myself. I know what motivates me and what repels me. I know why I do (most of) what I do. I know what colors look good on me. I know how I am likely to react in a given situation, and I know how I'll react to certain types of people. Usually. There are always wild cards and unknowns. I know my limitations. I know which foibles I have that limit my potential and limit my mind. I know enough about myself to know that I often have a big mouth. I know that I need to learn to govern myself with greater control. I need to teach myself to always put first things first, because I know that I wont do it otherwise. Funny how even with knowing myself better, especially knowing my faults, I continue to grow more and more confident and nonchalant. I stress less. That's great, I suppose. Good for my blood pressure anyway (which has always been extremely low, so I don't know what I care about it. Oh yeah, because my family has a history of heart disease. Ha ha...that's why.) Funny though (I promise I'm getting to the point,) that everyone today encourages confidence--we all need to be more confident, they say--and all this gained confdence has given me is more trouble.
The more confident I am the more comfotable I feel around people. The more comfortable I feel the more I open my big mouth. And the more I talk... the less people want to be around me. Seems like Rachel needs to learn a few lessons in un-confidence. Or at least needs to learn to go through one WHOLE DAY without saying a word. Hahaha. Perhaps I'll behave like Sir Ulrich Von Leichtenstein (from Gelderland,) and spend a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper.

Yeah, that'd do it.

--R.

P.S. Funny how I write crap like this and still expect my family to read it. Hahaha.

Happy Happy Joy Joy (Repeat)

(Written on Tuesday the 6th of November, 2007)
I woke up today and it was windy. I could hear the leaves rustling outside my window. Oh MAN have I missed noise from outside. It's so noisy outside in the Middle East, but the plant life doesn't feel the same. In Jerusalem especially it feels kinda still--which is probably just because there is so much rock. No, I'm sure that's why. The rest of Israel is very much alive--it's just Jerusalem that feels like it's made of stone. AHA! No, I've got it. It isn't still... it's just like a deep lake when all the water flow is churning deep under, but the surface is still. That's what its like. Nevermind. I'm babbling.

I woke up knowing that I had a final in Old Testament. YIKES. But oddly, I woke up with the most inspiring feeling--that it didn't matter. Isn't that great? I love my nonchalance with these things. I was so chipper. I said good morning to everyone, I ate breakfast with relish, I enjoyed life. (I especially enjoyed the breeze when I stepped outside my apartment, because feeling the air stirring about me was ever so delicious.) I was having a great time. I reviewed my notes, went over some last-minute-things.

I did okay on the test. Multiple-choice/matching/essay. On the mutliples & matchings I bet I did fine, and I think I scraped by on the essay. So I'm good--I hope. If I could go back in time, would I study more? Would I have taken more notes? No. I'd be about the same. (Though I wish I had paid more attention when I was doing my homework...I'd have learned more on the whole, but it still wouldn't have affected my test score.) No, if I could go back in time, I would have scrunched in a way to pass my cleaning check. I'd have had to do it all by myself again, but what's so terrible about that?

I am embarrassed that I've miffed my cleaning check. The floor wasn't vacuumed, the sinks weren't washed, the toilet hadn't been scrubbed, and things. I did wash the tooth-paste spots off the mirror, and all the beds were made and the clutter was gone. The Lee's were lenient; they only docked us 1/2 of gig... which is ridiculous, we should have lost 4 or 5. (Maybe being her favorite student counts for something after all. Just kidding.) I talked to Sis. Lee about it at lunch, and she said, "No, no, you didn't fail, you passed. You just didn't pass with flying colors, so you didn't get candy."

So somehow I squeaked past. But I'm rather ashamed that I couldn't just scrub a sink, toilet, and vacuum a floor. I really could have done that the night before, you know? But therein lies the problem. Nobody believed our final would actually last the full two hours. It was matching and multiple choice--that lasted half an hour. However, I should not have underestimated the power of Ludlow's ability to assign thought-requiring essay questions.
One essay for one page, and a second for at least two pages. Whew. The first one I chose (from one of two options) was more of a chart than an essay; name the ten commandments and each of the following under each: an eternal principle of that commandment, a modern application, and how the commandment helped the ancient Israelites become a more zion-like people. That was pretty self-explanatory and I knew more about it. The second was longer, and required more planning. I scribbled a quick outline and started scribbling. (You know how when you're writing an essay and you start to run out of room, so your usual penmanship starts shrinking and the last sentence is microscopic and possibly running up the side of the page for space? This one ended up being like that.) #2: How do the books of the Old Testament, the Law, the Writings, and the Prophets, provide a spiritual "temple for the soul," and how will your understanding of them influence your future study and teaching of the scriptures, both Old and New Testament? (what a long sentence!) I went through each section--law, writings, and prophets, and said stuff about them all. I checked my score over Bro. Ludlow's shoulder, and like I said I got a 95%, so at least on the essay section I've done pretty well.

It looked like rain, and with my hacking cough I didn't want to get stuck outside, so I stayed in all afternoon watching movies and working on finishing my blog for Egypt. And of course, trying desperately to stop coughing. I've gotten whiplash in my neck from coughing all the time and it's really starting to annoy.

Later that night I was going to bed. now this is going to be hard to explain, but try TRY to imagine it. The Jerusalem Center is terraced, right? Built on the side of Mt. Scopus. There are eight different floors, (eight is at the top, one is at the bottom, but you ENTER at the top...cause it's the top of the hill...yeah.) The fifth--second floors are residential, the 6-7th are the classrooms and cafeteria, and the eighth floor is really just a hallway attaching the library, auditorium, public restrooms, and reception hall. The hallway to the apartments is open air, with occasional roof cover. This means that when you are in the body of the center, you open the hallway to go to your room and a gust of fresh air hits you... and rain, if it's raining (which hasn't happened yet,) and there are leaves on the ground, and trees in front of your porch, etc. If it doesn't make sense, I can't clarify--I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say, and I'm tired of typing...if you want me to finish this post, don't ask any more questions. MY POINT, ladies and gentlemen, is that I walked outside and it was COLD!

Yes! YEHSSSSSS! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. FINALLY, it was cold outside. Ahhhhh. And there were clouds. And the stars were out. Hee hee hee hee. Those of you who know me know that with these conditions I did NOT end up going to bed straight away. I went to my room, dropped off my stuff, grabbed a water bottle and climbed back to the observatory deck on level 7 (my room is on level 4, ) and I was outside for over an hour. Hooray! Hooray for secutiry controlled conditions that let Rachel be outside after dark on a beautiful grassy platform with 20ft limestone arches, and the lay of lit-up Jerusalem within view. Oh, it is ever so nice. Especially when it was like last night.

Billowing clouds were moving fast, lit an oddly rosy-orange by the city lights below. A brisky breeze ruffled my skirt and blew wisps of hair in my eyes. I loved it. I cheered, I ran a weave through the pillars of the center, I raised my arms above my head and spun whirls across the grass, I gulped in great gasps of chilly air, and I stared in amazement at the lovely sights. The city looked so warm under the pink clouds and the glowing lights. I watched Orion (to whom I've developed an attachment... I like to say he's my boyfriend, but it's a long distance relationship and I only see him half of the year...and yes, I know they have psychiatrists for this kind of complex.) I watched all the stars drift, and I remembered the words of Tennyson: "my purpose holds; to sail beyond the sunset and the baths of all the western stars until I die." And I laughed at myself--at how corny I am--very much like Anne of Green Gables reciting the Lady of Shallot when she wanders through the forest, and I looked up at the stars and thought again of how fabulous it is.

I have often found solace in nature. Nothing cheers my heart faster than a cool breeze on my cheek, or sunlight on autumn leaves. Daffodils, rain, thick green grass, blooms on a hawthorn tree, and the chanting of pines in the wind--all these things bring me the same joy as "raindrops on roses," and "brown paper packages tied up with string." Because for me it is "simply remember[ing] my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad--" the nature is refreshing, and joyous.

And so it doesn't feel corny for me to cheer "yahoo!" and run around laughing in the wind under the stars. (I do it all the time.)

And I did make it into bed...and only one hour after I had set out to before. : D

Shalom! --R

P.S. I found out yesterday (the ninth) that I got a 90% on my Old Testament final. Better than I thought I'd do. I was most proud because (not because that morning I had tied my shoes all by myself [hoping that Alicia at least gets the Sesame reference]) but I was proud because I got a PERFECT score on my long essay. Hahahaha. ahahaha. HAhahahhaaha. Tee hee. Hmm.

Now Playing: Rachel EM as JEZEBEL

A note to the wise:

I've been coughing up my lungs for more than a week and a half. It's getting worse, too. In fact, just last night a girl here said, "Rachel--no way! Even when you're coughing you're quoting movies. You sound just like the Albino in the pit of despair..." Aha haha. Ahahaha. Ha ha. Ha. Ha. Heh. Hmm. Psh! So I'm hacking and gasping for air, clearing my throat and then talking clearly as though nothing ever happened. (said with a swagger:) I can take it--I did this for months this spring. Nothing new there.

Note to the wise continues:

Finals are upon me. Looming ever nearer-- no wait. They're TOMORROW. Bet yer bottom dollar that tomorrow, I'll be done. Cooked. Toast. Poof--wiped out--watching movies in recovery. It's a fact.

More wise cracks:

Today in Biblical Archaeology (oh, about ten minutes ago...yes, I'm writing this in class...it was either that or forget it) our teacher Bro. Huntington (who I found out taught my brother Aaron in high-school seminary and thinks that I look like him/sound like him/act like him... which I took as a compliment) anyway, brother Huntington used a few students as visual aid-actors to display the royal intrigues and inter-marryings between Judah and the Northern Kingdom.

First he was asking for volunteers for Ahab. Everyone laughed when Nick came down because he's known as the clever trickster around here. Brother Huntington said, "of course--Nick," and then everyone laughed harder. The next question was, "Who wants to be Jezebel?" Only one girl raised her hand. Oho, you know it--ME! Mwa hahahahhaa! I sauntered down to the front and stood next to Nick... and we made snide commentary on the whole thing JUST loud enough for the rest of the class to hear. We played our parts well. We had people come up and play our kids, too: Ahaziah, Jehoram, Athaliah... and then we acted out everything that happened. Except for when I'm torn to pieces by wild dogs--that part I just fell over for and then walked back to my seat. But other than that.

I really enjoyed myself! It was so much fun to get to be the wicked woman that caused all the havoc. Great stuff. Oh! And Greg played King Jehu and pretended to kill my sons and he "sent me to my room" so that the eunuchs could push me out the window. It was pretty fun. No, it was really fun. We get into stuff like that around here. It was way funny because somehow the clothes the Judean Kings were wearing made them all look matching or related... while everyone in the Northern Kingdom ended up being 5'6". We all looked related until the "son" ended up being 6'4"... and then Nick turns to me and says, "wanna explain that?" I was ready with an "I don't know what you're talking about," followed by a wave to another guy--it was funny.

So if none of that makes sense, just know that I got to be a hamm and I really enjoyed myself.

More slightly-foolish excuses:

We just got back from another country--Jordan--and we were all exhausted. Nowhere near Egyptian exhaustion, but on the same scale.

So I'm working on posting stuff. I PROMISE. Really. Truly. Even some choice pictures. ...soon. ...ish.

Ta ta! --R