Epiphany City

I've learned a lot today. If nothing else, this program generates opportunities and environments that cannot be had elsewhere.

I woke up tired. I didn't sleep very well--no--actually I didn't sleep. I'd fallen asleep doing homework in my eye-makeup without having even finished my homework. (a note to the homework wise--prioritize. I've decided that as long as I finish my old testament homework I won't reprimand myself for not finishing the rest. I'm satisfied with this.) Anyway, I wanted to skip classes and sleep or skip Old Testament today so that I could finish my Judaism-Perspective homework and study for the quizin that class...but here you can't do that because not only is attendance mandatory, EVERYONE will notice if you show up to one class but not the other. I grudgingly got out of bed. I didn't wash my hair; it wasn't gross, but it wasn't clean either. I put on what I usually term sloppy-clothing: a t-shirt and jeans. I would never have worn today's outfit at the Provo campus, but here everyone wears them. I did minimal make-up. The foremost characteristic of my appearance was my grouchy, grim, and grisly expression. Which I proudly wore to breakfast.

That's one thing about me that not all of you may know--I like to broadcast my moods. I probably shouldn't, but I do. I grouchily decided that my bad mood was bad enough to warrant the avoidance of healthy food. So I ate french toast. Deep fried french toast that is too hard around the edges and doesn't taste good enough to be as fattening as I'm sure it is. Lack of taste--that is what breakfast here is missing. (actually, the cream of wheat is very good... so technically if I want flavor I should eat the healthy food. How's that for backwards?) I sat next to Brandon and proceeded to inform him that I was a very-bad-mormon because I was being deliberately pessimistic. "Today is going to be a very bad day," I sagely warned. From over my shoulder my roommate Amber said, "so in other words even if it were a good day you won't notice because your sour attitude can only ruin it?" ...to which I replied with a hunk of toast in my cheek... "exactly."

Brandon tried to make it better by mentioning happy things. I told him it was futile and explained my mother's favorite phrase for me: 'leave me alone. I want to be miserable...' and then I started to realize that my mother always helped me when I was in those moods by not trying to cheer me up. It's a funny thing about parents--but they seem to know more about you than you know about yourself. My mom knew full well that I knew I shouldn't be feeling that way and that the only person that could and would ever pull me out of it was myself. ...and she would listen and not say anything until I asked her something. I told Brandon that I really wished my mom were there as I ate breakfast, as she is when I eat breakfast at home. I told him about how she never tried to stop me from choosing to be angsty. When he asked, "so making things worse helps you to get better?" I said it helped a lot more than talking about sunshine, daisies, and butterflies. (noting that the authoress doesn't much care for either of those three things--she likes them, but they wouldn't cheer her up. Get it? Good.) At this point Brandon proceeded to curse my children with webbed feet and curly arm-hair. I chuckled. And despite my chosen mood of gloominess I started to feel better.

Then I went to Old Testament. We discussed covenants--with note to the temple and the sacrament. And I figured something out... epiphany #1 of the day: the sacrament prayers are an if-then statement. I already knew that, but I had never understood it with a key word in mind. ALWAYS. All-the-ways. Meaning in all things. Furthermore, we may always have the spirit with us if we ALWAYS remember him. And I knew this. But I had always supposed that it was only granted for always if during the entire period you always remembered, but... and this is the way I discovered it... we only have the spirit while we are remembering. when we remember we will, and otherwise it will touch our hearts and minds no further. That is the plainest set of instructions, and I hadn't recognized the pattern and simplicity until then. If we remember, then we shall have--no more no less. I should like to mention that this will likely not make a lick of sense to 99% of all those who read it, including my family, but alas. I shan't take the time to explain it further unless someone asks me to. I had another epiphany after that, but that one I'll keep to myself.

My day was going very well indeed by this point.

Then I went to my un-prepared class in such a good mood that I didn't even care about the quiz. Which was good--because I didn't read any of the tested material and I still got a 9/10. Yay for multiple choice questions!

I was happy by the end of the period. Then I walked down the hall and met my Hebrew teacher. She brought FOX IN SOX in Hebrew. The cover was backwards, the pages went backwards, and there were Hebrew block letters all over it. NOT FOX IN SOX. It couldn't be. How in the HECK can you translate "if you choose to chew blue goo sir, please sir, do sir! Chew blue goo sir," and have it rhyme and still retain the simplicity of a child's book? NOT POSSIBLE, said I. Oh contrare--said she. She said that it works, and I guess I'm trusting her. IMAGINE my SURPRISE when I discovered that Hebrew might be possible for my brain to handle. Might. Hee hee. The rewards are far and away worth the learning. Ready for epiphany #3? While explaining that many words have have a root base to a common theme, she used an example. the words

FULL. To PAY IN FULL. PERFECT. and COMPLETE.

all share the same root base. This brings me to another explanation... in the scriptures, when Christ says "be ye therefore perfect," the translation is a little sticky. The origional greek text uses a word "teleois" which describes a gradual coming into perfection over (think tele- as in telephone) a distance, or a space of time... not an all at once thing. This means that Christ was saying that we should gradually attain the attributes of perfection until we become perfect at a long-distant end--always seeking and continuing on the become-perfect-scheme. In Hebrew "perfection" has the same root as COMPLETION. FULLNESS. To be whole and complete is to be perfect. OHHHHHHH so interesting. That was epiphany #3.

Later I took a taxi-bus with a bunch of other students follwing as half of us took a voluntary trip to the Israeli Museum in West Jerusalem. I made the mistake of watching out the windsheild as we drove. Fear for our lives! Our taxi driver was insane! They are all insane! He sped up too much too soon and broke too late and aaAaAaaAAAH! SCARY. I counted at least 13 times when we should have collided with another car. Yikes.

Anyway, I walked through the museum with Greg--we took our time reading all the plaques next to the exhibits. We saw the giant model of Jerusalem in the second-temple period. Let's just say that I have pictures of Solomon's porch during a sunset and it's freakin awesome. I caught a great one of the Antonia Fortress with the Holy Place behind it--oh man it looks cool! Like I said, experiences here no one else gets to have. Then we walked into the "Shrine of the Book," and about died of relief. After the blinding light, heat, and humidity outside we strolled into a temperature-humidity controlled environment. Everything was SUPER dry and cold. Why? "Shrine of the Book," is an exhibit of dead sea scrolls and Qumran artifacts. The lights were extremely dim as well. Greg is from Salt Lake City, I am from Provo, and both of us immensely appreciated the sensation of dry air. We haven't felt dry air since the airplane and we've missed it. (I know that you're all thinking that Jerusalem in dry. It has a higher humidity than Utah. Easily. Think San Diego, California in the summer.) Anyway, Greg and I were in heaven and didn't want to leave. Let me paint this picture: Dim lighting. Fridgid, dry atmosphere. Isaiah scroll. Artifacts from 60 B.C.E. Oh yeah. It was Rachel paradise. Well maybe not paradise, but Greg and I sure felt the loss when we left the building and were assaulted by glaring heat, brightness, and sticky air. Blucka. :P.

Anyway--the exhibit! Fascinating! They had Phylacteries from ancient times that were tiny! the writing was I'd say a 4pt font--in script! (actually the Hebrew was in block lettering, not script... and there is a difference, but I meant script as in written material...) the writing was so tiny Greg didn't even know that it was writing until I pointed it out to him. But not only were the tefillin (phylacteries is a greek term, tefillin is the Hebrew word) writings small, the whole thing was no larger than a quarter. Greg and I were a little perplexed at that, having seen modern tefillin a few days ago that were just shy the size of a rubix cube. No, really. They're HUGE in today's world. So big that there's no WAY they would fit under a jacket, you'd have to wear it over your clothing. Can you say conspicuous? I don't think that's quite the point, but then again, I'm no jew. Even if my name appears to me Jewish, I'm not. I just have a very German name and parents who read the Bible.

Anyway, we saw a number of Qumran artifacts that were fun... but the coolest part was a GIANT scroll looking thing (imagine a huge rolling pin) sticking up out of the floor with the Isaiah inscription scroll displayed around it horizontally as if it were on the scroll instead of just mounted on it. I'd have taken a picture, but they weren't allowed. While we were in the blissful controlled atmospheric conditions of the exhibit, Greg had an epiphany "aha" moment that generated a discussion on the purpose of Brigham Young University--both in Provo and Jerusalem. This is epiphany city. Sheesh.

On the drive back to the center, Caleb and Rebecca (two more of my friends) fell asleep. Not sure how they managed this with the herky-jerky taxi driving and the accompanying chorus of honking horns, but they did. Sarah (one more friend) and I decided that it was unfair of them to be such attractive sleepers--just sitting there with their eyes closed. When WE sleep on the buses our mouths hang open with a 70% chance of drool and light snoring.

After dinner there was another group scripture study session. More epiphanies all around and juicy gospel discussions. I'm lovin this livin, let me tell ya.

SO. What started as a grim and grisly gruesome morning turned out to be a brilliant and adoring day. Not sure how that happened since I had decided to be miserable on purpose, but I think I "got by with a little help from my friends," and possibly some other sources of unseen assistance.

Today was a big day for me. Simple in the schedule of things here, but big in terms of my own progression on the quest for "completion," "perfection," and "whole-ness."

Wish me luck for tomorrow! --it's Yom Kippur now (seeing as it's after Sunset here,) and tomorrow will be an interesting day for sure.

--R.